How to Pretend to be Positive

When my sister and I were kids, my mum had the infuriating habit of making us say positive things when we just wanted to be grumpy. For example, if I said:

"I hate school and all my classes are crap."

She might respond, feigning a sweet voice: "Now say that in a positive way (?)"

Of course this wouldn't instantly change our mood. Often we might shout something like:

"I positively hate everything and I positively don't want to talk to you."
Sometimes though, it might change to "I didn't like English today, because I got told off for talking." and then (having been coaxed out of the angry mindset) adding "...but Physics was ok... and we had pizza for lunch."

Now, years later, I've suddenly found myself bothered by people who tend towards looking on "the dark side" of situations (that's not a Star Wars reference, I mean the opposite of "the bright side"). I sometimes try to invite them to look at their situation more positively, but more often I'll just zone out and let them get on with it.

The problem is that, in the end, the tendency to look at things in a particular way starts to seep into your unconsciousness unless you actively avoid it.

Now, I'm not, by any stretch of the imagination, a really positive person. But I realised that I might have an advantage, because my mum's "annoying habit" taught me the ability to notice when I'm using negative language. Many people, I guess, don't even know when they're saying negative things.

In fact, I've always thought of my mum as a generally positive person, and many people would agree with me, so it was a surprise to me to find out the other day that she viewed "everything as a problem" for most of her life. When I was about 6 years old, she actively made a decision to stop using negative language.

But if we say negative things, does that mean that we are a negative person?

Is is possible that by changing what we say, we can change how we feel, even if we don't initially believe what we're saying?

Time to break out the research.