The New Year's Anti-resolution Resolution Paradox

Making New Years Resolutions has fallen out of fashion. In fact its even become popular to make an anti-resolution resolution, by saying “This year I resolve not to make any resolutions”, which has the double advantages of being both confusing and having its assured failure inbuilt, because you have to break the resolution in order to make the resolution which resolves not to make any resolutions. Of course you could always resolve to “not make any resolutions after this one”, which would solve the initial paradox, but is probably as just as doomed to failure as the resolution to “give up cigarettes after this one” or “start eating healthy after this Mars Bar”.

By why do we make even make resolutions? Humans must have had some reason to start making them in the first place.

Well, it appears that the history of New Years resolutions started in Rome around the time of Julius Caesar, and generally took a moral flavour. Things like “I will be good to others”, something which is generally taken to be a sign of good morals. After Christianity was adopted in the 4th century the focus changed, from moral resolutions to prayers, to fasting and to a feast on January 1st which held the worrying name of “The Feast of the Circumcision”. I shudder to think what might have been on the menu.

Received Wisdom

Here comes Christmas, bounding over the hilltops of the calendar weekends like an overexcited puppy. It’s almost here, and ready to give you a big, wet lick in the face.

Christmas, that time nominally devoted to giving, is really all about receiving. Receiving presents? Well, okay... sure, there are presents.. but those presents kind of lost their significance back when you realised that the best presents from now on were going to come from Uncle Amazon, and can be received all year round.

I’m talking more about the other things. Like receiving two bouts of flu perfectly timed to interfere first with your holiday and then with your return to work. Receiving the slap in the face that you skilfully dodged by ignoring you birthday, when you realise that 5 years have passed since 5 years ago.

But above all receiving wisdom, and reinforcing those Received Wisdoms that you carry around throughout the year.

Unlike the type of knowledge which is built over time, with careful careful consideration and continual readjustment, Received Wisdom comes in easy-to-digest, pre-thought-out packaging. It promises the bearer an instant air of well-informed assurance which is inherently more appealing than the vague uncertainties that make more accurate facts.

Like last Christmas for instance.

We’re all sat around the dinner table and cousin Alice, who turned 9 in October, looks suspiciously at her alcohol-free mulled wine.

Using Research in Writing - A Workshop

Last Tuesday it was my turn to lead the Madrid Writers Club and chose to look at using research in writing.
You can find a post with the handouts and exercises here:
http://madridwritersclub.com/2013/11/21/using-research-in-writing/

The Vampire Presentation

The Vampire Presentation begins when The Speaker fumbles with the computer cable, like he’s trying to knit spaghetti. From my seat in the audience I imagine Transylvanian organ chords stab with each fumble of the powerpoint presentation. I see bats fly out above our heads when a window pops up on-screen flashing a blood red advert promising cream-induced eternal life to the 10,000th lucky visitor.

The Speaker begins in dull drone. Every few words they emit an “urm” or “yeah”, like the rasping laugh of a Nosferatu sizing us up for a bite.

I feel the blood drain from my concentration. I check my watch for the second time during this first slide but it does nothing to stem the flow of consciousness which is sucked from me with each of his unrehearsed words. It feels like The Speaker has been talking over their title slide for an eternity. Finally, fumbling with the laser pointer, they switch to the next slide. It is packed with text and pleonastic spelling mistakes. All at once I know that my struggle is useless. As I slip into a dull stupor I know that this is going to be a Vampire Presentation.

“Why?...” I think, as my shoulders sag and my eyelids turn to lead, “but.. why?...”

Presentations are an integral part of our lives. Although a (lucky?) few people may have managed to escape ever having to sit through another presentation when they left high school, for most of us we are stuck with them. Whether it be the weekly progress presentation at work, presentation of our ideas for books to our reading group, or an impromptu call-for-action to a group of our friends, we spend a huge amount of time watching and performing presentations.

But why are they often so blood-suckingly boring?

We are spoiled these days by captivating, interesting presentations on such platforms as TED, theRSA and others. Stand up comedy is hugely popular all over the world, with new quality acts making it to our TV screens every year.

NaNoWriMo 2013

So this year I'm attempting something a little different. My goal is to write the first draft of my PhD thesis, which is due in next year. As with last year, here's my progress images:

My Progress